Let’s not sugarcoat this—narcissists are emotional leeches.
They drain your energy, twist your words, and make you question your own reality.
And the worst part? They make you feel like the bad guy when you finally get tired of their BS.
But here’s the truth: dealing with narcissists the “nice” way doesn’t work. You can’t reason with them.
You can’t out-love them. You can’t fix them. The only real move? Cut them off. Completely.
Going no contact with narcissists isn’t weakness—it’s war strategy.
It’s you finally stepping out of the trap and choosing peace over chaos.
Most people stay stuck because they’re afraid of looking “mean,” or because the narcissists have trained them to believe they can’t live without them.
That’s the lie. The smart ones walk away.
The strong ones cut the cord. In this article, I’m going to break down exactly why going no contact with narcissists is the most powerful decision you can make—and how it sets you up to take your life back on your terms.
What Does “Going No Contact” Mean?
Going no contact means exactly what it sounds like—cutting off all communication with narcissists.
No texts. No calls. No DMs. No checking their socials. Nothing. You shut the door and bolt it shut.
Why?
Because narcissists feed off access. Every message, every reaction, every emotional response—it’s fuel for their ego.
When you go no contact, you starve the beast. You take back your power and stop playing the game they’ve been winning for years.
Now, some people confuse no contact with low contact—but they’re not the same thing. Low contact is for situations where you have to stay in touch—like co-parenting or working with narcissists.
It means limiting conversations to logistics only, with zero emotion and zero personal details. But if you can go full no contact? Do it.
Because here’s the truth: in extreme cases, especially when you’re dealing with manipulative, gaslighting narcissists, boundaries aren’t just healthy—they’re survival. No contact isn’t cold. It’s smart. It’s what protects your peace, your sanity, and your future.
Please note: This blog post is for informational purposes only and should not be taken as medical or psychological advice.
If you are concerned about your relationship with a please seek professional help.
Defining A Narcissist
A narcissist is someone who has an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
They often believe they are superior to others and deserve special treatment. they can succeed in their careers and personal lives, but their relationships are often troubled.
At its core, the term refers to an excessive interest in or admiration of oneself.
While a healthy level of esteem is essential for well-being, self-absorption becomes problematic when it interferes with an individual’s ability to form and maintain meaningful personal and professional relationships.
The Psychology Behind Narcissistic Behavior
Here’s what most people don’t get: narcissists aren’t confident—they’re insecure. Deep down, they feel empty, inadequate, and worthless. So they build this fake persona to cover it up.
That’s why they need constant praise, control, and attention. It’s not ego—it’s survival. Narcissists aren’t operating from a place of strength; they’re hustling 24/7 to avoid facing their own shame.
Every manipulation, every lie, every power move? It’s all just a mask to hide how weak they really feel inside.
Narcissists manipulate and control because it gives them a sense of safety. If they can keep you off balance, doubting yourself, and chasing their approval, then they win.
That’s their game. It’s not about love—it’s about leverage. And if you let it go on long enough, the abuse starts to rewire your brain. You become emotionally unstable.
Your self-worth tanks. You start asking what you did wrong when in reality, you were just dealing with a professional manipulator.
That’s what makes narcissists dangerous—they don’t just break trust. They break you, slowly and strategically. And the only way to stop the damage? Learn how the game works—and refuse to play.
Key Traits of Narcissistic Personality Disorder
Narcissistic Personality Disorder – NPD, as outlined in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), is characterized by a pervasive pattern of grandiosity, a constant need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.
Here are some key traits commonly associated with NPD:
- Grandiosity: They often have an exaggerated sense of self-importance, believing they are unique or special and deserve special treatment.
- Fantasies of Unlimited Success, Power, or Beauty: Individuals with NPD may harbor unrealistic fantasies of boundless success, power, brilliance, or beauty.
- Belief in their Uniqueness: They often believe they can only be understood by or should associate with, other special or high-status people.
- Excessive Need for Admiration: A constant craving for admiration and validation from others is a hallmark.
- Sense of Entitlement: They may expect special treatment and feel entitled to exploit others without reciprocation.
- Lack of Empathy: Difficulty recognizing or understanding the feelings and needs of others is a common trait in individuals with NPD.
- Envy or Belief Others are Envious: They may be preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success and believe others envy them while simultaneously harboring envy for others.
No Contact Isn’t Cowardly—It’s a Power Move
No contact isn’t cowardly—it’s a power move. When you’re dealing with narcissists, you’re not in a relationship.
You’re in a psychological warzone. Every day is about survival—watching what you say, managing their moods, walking on eggshells.
That’s not love, that’s survival mode. And survival mode burns you out. It keeps you reactive, small, and constantly doubting yourself. Going no contact is the shift from survival to self-preservation.
It’s not about being petty. It’s about saying, “I’m done bleeding for someone who keeps stabbing me.”
Cutting ties with narcissists is often the only path to real healing. You can’t heal in the same environment that’s making you sick.
And narcissists are experts at pretending to change just enough to keep you stuck. But the moment you stop giving them access, you take away their power. The guilt? The fear? That’s what they installed to keep you in line. Let it go.
Narcissists trained you to feel bad for protecting yourself.
But the truth is, protecting your peace isn’t selfish—it’s smart. You don’t owe narcissists closure, explanation, or another chance. You owe yourself freedom. And no contact is how you finally get it.
How To Prepare
Going no contact with narcissists isn’t just about hitting “block” on your phone—it’s a full reset. And if you want it to stick, you need to prep for it like it’s war—because with narcissists, it is.
First, you have to get emotionally ready. That means journaling to get clear on the damage they’ve caused. That means therapy to rebuild the parts of you they tried to erase.
And that means surrounding yourself with a support system that reminds you you’re not crazy—you were just under the influence of narcissists who twisted your reality for their benefit.
Next, take practical steps. Block their number. Delete their social media. Wipe out any digital trail they can use to creep back in.
Narcissists don’t go away quietly—they test your boundaries, they bait you with fake apologies, and they’ll use guilt or drama to pull you back in.
So you need to lock down your space like your life depends on it—because mentally, it kind of does. And if the narcissists you’re dealing with are especially vindictive, don’t rule out legal precautions. Document everything. Keep records. Talk to a lawyer if needed.
Narcissists will smear you, stalk you, and gaslight you right into a courtroom if it means maintaining control. Preparing for no contact isn’t overkill—it’s armor. Build it strong and don’t look back.
What To Expect After
Once you go no contact, don’t expect narcissists to take the loss quietly. They don’t just walk away—they hover, stalk, guilt-trip, and manipulate from the sidelines. Narcissists hate losing supply.
So they’ll send fake apologies, love bombs, or crisis messages just to get a reaction. That’s called hoovering. It’s not love—it’s bait. The second you reply, they’ve won.
Because narcissists don’t want reconciliation—they want control. You have to be ready for the games. Silence isn’t weakness. It’s your strategy. It’s how you break the cycle.
But let’s be real—cutting off narcissists comes with withdrawal. It’s like detoxing from a drug. You’ll miss the highs. You’ll question if it was really that bad. That’s the trauma bond talking.
Narcissists condition you to crave their approval and fear their absence. So when they’re gone, it feels empty. But that’s where healing starts.
This is where the silence becomes powerful. Sit in it. Reflect. Journal. Go inward. The truth is, narcissists filled space in your life—but they didn’t bring peace. Now you get to build something real—without lies, drama, or manipulation. The chaos was never normal. And this silence? It’s not loneliness. It’s freedom.
Dealing With Narcissistic rage
Narcissistic Rage is a sudden and intense outburst of anger that can be frightening. It is often triggered by a perceived threat to their ego, such as criticism, rejection, or failure.
They may yell, scream, threaten, or even become physically violent during a rage.
Flying monkeys
“Flying monkeys” are people the egomaniac manipulates to do their bidding. They may be friends, family members, or colleagues.
They will often lie about you and try to turn them against you. This can be very isolating and damaging to your relationships.
How to protect yourself from a narcissist
- Set boundaries: It’s essential to set clear boundaries and tell them what behavior you will and will not tolerate.
- Don’t argue: Arguing with them wastes time and will only make them angrier.
- Gray rock: This technique involves giving them as little attention as possible.
- Seek support: Talk to a therapist or counselor who can help you deal with the emotional abuse.
If you are in a relationship with one, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Many resources are available to help you cope and heal.
In addition to the tips above, here are some other things to keep in mind:
- It is not your fault that you are in a relationship with them.
- You cannot change them.
- The best way to deal with them is to remove yourself from the situation.
- Healing from abuse takes time and patience.
Signs of trauma due to abuse are:
- Lack of joy
- Binge-eating and television-watching
- Feeling anxiety while resting.
- Lack of trust in yourself & others
- Poor self-talk
- Exhaustion
- Feeling like life is a struggle.
- Depression
- Feeling on high alert most of the time.
Related: The Sigma Male
What Causes Narcissism?
- Childhood Abuse or Neglect.
- Too much pampering.
- Unrealistic expectations from parents.
It is believed that the number one cause of NPD is childhood abuse or neglect; conversely, too much pampering of children is number 2, with unrealistic expectations of parents coming in as number three.
Some researchers also look into the possibility that not all traits are caused during their lifetime; instead, they are inherited genetic personality defects passed on from parent[s] to child through the DNA blueprint.
Everyone can exhibit conceited behaviors at times. But it seems these days that high-level narcissism is on the rise.
A clinical diagnosis can’t be made from observations from friends and family, which helps to know the criteria areas. It can show how close someone might be to fitting the profile.
A less clinical, simpler way to tell if someone in your life may have tendencies is to look at signs and symptoms, observable traits and behaviors that tend to accompany disorders.
There are three types.
- Grandiose
- Vulnerable
- Malignant
Traits
NPD, often interchangeably referred to as egotistic, self-centered, or self-absorbed personality disorder, encapsulates a set of distinct traits that create challenges in interpersonal dynamics.
Below are some common NPD traits.
- Exploits others without guilt or shame.
- Difficulty maintaining healthy relationships.
- Can be inordinately self-righteous and defensive.
- Demeans, intimidates, bullies, or belittles others.
- Has a poor sense of self and a weak ability to regulate their feelings and actions.
- Does not recognize or fulfill the needs of others.
- Lacks empathy for others.
- Project onto others qualities, traits, and behaviors they can’t—or won’t—accept in themselves, meaning they may accuse you of the very behavior they are conducting.
- Highly reactive to criticism.
- Arrogant, self-centered & demanding.
- He has no remorse for hurting others and rarely apologizes unless it will benefit them.
- Their entire life is motivated and energized by fear.
- There is a need for everything to be perfect.
- They need to control everything outside of them, especially their relationships.
- Extreme sensitivity and a tendency to be easily hurt and to feel rejected with little provocation.
- A Sense of superiority.
- They secretly feel insecure and have a weak sense of self.
- They generally resist therapy.
- Denies responsibility for anything that ‘goes wrong.’
- Has poor interpersonal boundaries.
- Quick to anger and prone to irritation.
- Harbor’s a lot of shame.
- They desperately want someone to feel their pain, sympathize with them, and make everything just as they want it to be.
- Extreme feelings of jealousy.
- Loves drama and chaos.
- Seeks out praise and positive reinforcement from others.
- Has an inflated sense of self-importance and entitlement.
- A preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.
- Reacts to contrary viewpoints with anger or rage.
- Has a sense of entitlement.
- Takes their negative emotions out on those closest to them.
- Has low self-esteem.
- They want their partner to play a role instead of being a ‘real person.’
- Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior.
- An inability to communicate or work as part of a team.
- Fails to help others unless there is immediate gain or recognition for themselves for doing so.
- Will refute facts, logic, and evidence if it goes against their own delusional beliefs.
- She hates it when someone puts up personal boundaries.
- They cannot live in harmony with themselves.
Conclusion
No contact isn’t about punishing narcissists. It’s not revenge. It’s not drama. It’s a boundary. It’s you finally saying, “Enough.” Because narcissists thrive on access—access to your emotions, your time, your energy.
When you cut that off, you starve the problem. You stop playing their game. You break the cycle. Going no contact with narcissists is one of the smartest, most empowered choices you can make—not because it changes them, but because it changes you.
You get your clarity back. You get your confidence back. You get your life back.
If you’re still on the fence, I get it. Narcissists train you to feel responsible for their pain. They teach you that leaving is betrayal. But the real betrayal is what they’ve been doing to you all along.
The lies, the gaslighting, the emotional rollercoasters—that’s not love. That’s manipulation. You don’t need more time to think it through. You need the courage to act. Going no contact isn’t a loss.
It’s a power move. It’s not about narcissists—it’s about you. And it’s time to take your power back.
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