Knowing what matters and is truly important to you is the cornerstone of living a fulfilling life.
In a world where distractions are endless and priorities often blur, it’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind of busyness without asking: What really matters?
This isn’t just about making a to-do list; it’s about understanding your core priorities and aligning your daily actions with them.
Think about it—how often do you react to life instead of proactively shaping it? You might be hustling hard, but if you’re unclear on your priorities, you’re just spinning your wheels.
The truth is, when everything feels important, nothing truly is. It’s time to cut through the noise and identify what deserves your attention and energy.
This article will explore practical strategies to help you pinpoint your priorities.
By doing so, you’ll reclaim control over your life and ensure that what’s important to you takes center stage. Let’s dive in and start prioritizing what truly matters!
How To Identify What Matters To You
Identifying what truly matters to you is like peeling back the layers of an onion. It requires introspection, honesty, and sometimes a bit of trial and error.
Imagine sitting down with a friend over coffee and talking about what really lights you up. That’s where the magic happens.
Let’s dive into some practical steps to help you figure out what’s most important to you.
First, take a moment to reflect on what makes you feel genuinely happy in the moment and fulfilled.
For some, it might be spending time with family; for others, it could be diving into a passion project or simply enjoying a quiet walk in nature.
Think about the activities or moments in your life that bring you joy.
The key here is to remember those moments when you feel most alive and content. These are strong indicators of what matters to you.
Next, consider how you spend your time. Time is our most valuable resource, and where you allocate, it speaks volumes about your priorities.
Track your daily activities for a week and see where most of your time goes. Are you investing time in things that align with your values and bring you closer to your goals, or are you getting caught up in distractions?
This exercise can be an eye-opener and help you realign your schedule to focus on what truly matters.
Another powerful method is to think about the people who are most important to you. Relationships often play a crucial role in our sense of fulfillment and purpose. Reflect on the individuals who uplift, challenge, and support you.
These connections can provide insight into your values and what you hold dear. Surrounding yourself with people who resonate with your core beliefs can reinforce what’s important to you and help you stay on track.
Lastly, don’t forget to consider your long-term aspirations and how you want to be remembered. What legacy do you want to leave behind?
What achievements or qualities do you want to be known for? Reflecting on these can help you identify the big-picture goals that matter most and guide your daily actions toward achieving them.
Remember, discovering what matters to you isn’t a one-time event. It’s a dynamic process that evolves as you grow and change.
Regularly checking in with yourself and reassessing your priorities ensures you stay aligned with what’s truly important.
Here's a link to A Step-by-Step Workbook for Identifying Your Values, Priorities, and Path Forward After a Crisis.
How to Prioritize What Truly Matters
Now that we’ve sorted our values, it’s time to prioritize. And no, scrolling through Instagram for hours doesn’t count as a priority (sorry, not sorry).
Start by listing everything you think is important. Career, family, health, Netflix subscription – whatever. Now, here’s where it gets real. Imagine you only have energy for three of these things. Which ones make the cut?
It’s like Marie Kondo-ing your life priorities. If it doesn’t spark joy (or fulfillment), it’s time to thank it and let it go.
Remember, prioritizing isn’t about doing what’s easy. It’s about doing what’s right for you. Sometimes, that means saying no to good things so you can say yes to great things.
Why Core Values Are Critical
Let’s kick things off with a little exercise. Imagine you’re on a deserted island (cliché, I know, but stick with me). You can only bring three things that represent your core values. What are they?
This isn’t about survival gear, folks. It’s about what truly matters to you at your core. Maybe it’s a family photo, a journal, or a symbol of your faith. Whatever it is, it’s telling you something crucial about your values.
Here’s another quick hit: Write down the five people you admire most. Now, list the qualities you admire in them. Boom! You’ve just identified some of your core values.
These exercises aren’t just feel-good fluff. They’re the foundation for building a life that actually means something to you. Because let’s face it, if you’re not living by your values, you’re just existing. (1)
Common Reasons We Lose Sight of What’s Important
Most people don’t know what’s important to them because they never stop long enough to think about it.
They’re too busy reacting. Too busy checking boxes someone else handed them. School told you to get good grades.
Society told you to get a good job. Instagram told you to get rich and have abs. So you did it—or at least tried—and still felt empty. Why? Because you were solving someone else’s equation.
We lose sight of what matters because we trade intention for momentum. Just keep moving. Keep grinding.
Don’t ask why—just do more. But more of the wrong thing just gets you further from the right thing. It’s like running full speed in the wrong direction. Impressive, but pointless.
Distractions are another killer. You wake up, check your phone, and boom—you’re already inside someone else’s agenda. News, emails, likes, messages. You’re constantly plugged into noise, and that noise drowns out the signal.
Then there’s validation. You start making decisions based on how they look instead of how they feel.
You buy stuff to impress people you don’t even like. You post things to get applause from strangers. You chase the applause instead of chasing alignment.
Bottom line: if you don’t know what matters to you, you’ll keep doing what matters to everyone else. And that’s the fastest way to build a life that looks good but feels bad.
Identifying Personal Priorities Worksheet
It’s time to get practical. Grab a pen and paper (or your fancy iPad; I don’t judge), and let’s create a personal priorities worksheet.
Column 1: List your roles (parent, friend, employee, etc.)
Column 2: What’s important in each role?
Column 3: What actions can you take to honor these priorities?
For example:
Role: Health enthusiast
Important: Regular exercise, balanced diet
Actions: Schedule workouts and meal prep on Sundays
This isn’t just busy work. It’s about translating your priorities into actionable steps. Because knowing what counts is one thing, but living it out? That’s where the magic happens.
Ways to Determine Your Soul’s Priorities
Still, feeling stuck? Let’s try a few more ways to uncover what really matters to you.
>The Rocking Chair Test:
Imagine yourself at 90, sitting in a rocking chair. What would you regret not doing?
>The Perfect Day:
Describe your ideal day from start to finish. What elements make it perfect?
>The Passion Test:
List your top 5 passions. Now, compare them two at a time. Which one is more important? Keep going until you have a clear ranking.
>The Joy Audit:
For a week, note down everything that brings you joy. Look for patterns.
>The Fear Factor:
What are you most afraid of losing?
These aren’t just thought experiments. They’re windows into your soul, showing you what truly is important when all the noise is stripped away.
Aligning Actions with Life Values
Knowing what matters is great, but it’s just the first step. The real work is aligning your daily actions with these values. It’s like getting your dog to walk in a straight line—it takes constant adjustment.
Start small. If family is a top value, maybe it’s about putting your phone away during dinner. If personal growth matters, it could be reading for 30 minutes before bed instead of scrolling social media. It’s not about perfection. It’s about progress.
Each aligned action is a vote for the person you want to become and the life you want to lead.
Remember, misalignment leads to frustration and unfulfillment. It’s like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole. But when your actions and values align? That’s when life starts to flow.
Self-Reflection Questions for What Really Matters
Time for some hard-hitting questions.
Grab a journal, find a quiet spot, and let’s dig deep:
- What would I do if money were no object?
- When do I feel most alive?
- What would I regret not doing or becoming?
- Who are the most important people in my life, and why?
- What am I willing to sacrifice for?
- What legacy do I want to leave behind?
- What are my unique gifts, and how can I use them?
These aren’t easy questions, folks. They’re meant to make you squirm a little. Because growth happens outside your comfort zone, not while you’re Netflix and chilling.
Uncovering What’s Truly Important in Life
Here’s a truth bomb for you: What’s truly important often gets buried under societal expectations, other people’s opinions, and our own fears.
We need to peel back these layers to uncover what’s truly important. It’s like archaeological digging, but you uncover your authentic self instead of ancient artifacts.
Start by questioning your “shoulds.” Whenever you think, “I should do this,” ask yourself, “Says who?” Is it truly important to you, or is it someone else’s expectation?
Next, pay attention to your energy. What lights you up? What drains you? Your energy is a compass pointing towards what truly counts.
Finally, look at where you spend your time and money. These are often the most honest indicators of what you truly value, whether you realize it or not. (2)
Methods for Clarifying Your Priorities
Setting life goals without clarity on what matters is like trying to hit a target blindfolded. You might get lucky, but chances are you’ll miss by a mile.
Here are some methods to bring those goals into focus:
>The Vision Board:
Create a visual representation of your ideal life. It’s not just arts and crafts; it’s a powerful way to clarify your goals.
>The 5-Year Plan:
Where do you want to be in 5 years? Now, work backward. What steps do you need to take each year, month, and week to get there?
>The Values-Based Goal Setting:
For each of your top values, set a goal that honors and expresses that value.
>The Bucket List:
What do you want to do, be, have, and experience before you kick the bucket? This isn’t just about skydiving and visiting Paris. It’s about identifying what counts to you.
Remember, goals are just signposts. The real journey is becoming the person who can achieve those goals.
Steps To Stay On Track
Alright, we’re in the home stretch. You’ve identified what’s really important. Now, how do you stay focused on it?
Declutter Your Life
Physical and mental clutter can distract you from what’s important. Marie Kondo, that stuff!
Learn to Say No
Every “yes” to something unimportant is a “no” to something that matters. Guard your time fiercely.
Create Routines
Build habits that support your priorities. Make what counts automatic.
Regular Check-ins
Schedule time to review your priorities and goals. Life changes, and so is what’s important.
Celebrate Aligned Actions
Reward yourself when you make choices that honor your values and priorities.
Surround Yourself with Support
Find your tribe – people who understand and support your goals.
Practice Mindfulness
Stay present. Focusing on what matters is hard when you’re stuck in the past or anxious about the future.
When What Matters Changes
What mattered to you five years ago might not matter today—and that’s not a problem, that’s proof you’re evolving.
The issue is when people cling to old priorities out of habit, guilt, or fear of judgment. They keep playing an outdated game and wonder why they feel stuck.
Here’s the truth: life isn’t static. You grow, your circumstances change, and so should your definition of what matters.
But most people don’t pause long enough to update their internal operating system. They just keep following an old script that no longer fits the current version of themselves.
Reassessment starts with honesty. Brutal honesty. Ask: “Is what I’m chasing still aligned with who I am right now?” Not who you were. Not who you thought you’d be. Who you are right now.
Next: strip the emotion. Don’t stay in a job, relationship, or identity just because you’ve put time into it. That’s sunk cost bias. Time spent isn’t proof of value—it’s just proof of time spent. Let go of what’s no longer serving you.
Adaptation is a skill. It means you’re willing to pivot, course correct, and make decisions based on your current reality, not your past vision. And yeah—it’ll feel uncomfortable. But comfort is the cost of growth.
Reassess often. Update the vision. Adjust the vehicle. The goal isn’t consistency with the past. It’s alignment with the present.
What Matters to You Conclusion
Identifying and focusing on what truly matters most in life isn’t just some feel-good exercise.
It’s the foundation for living a life of purpose, fulfillment, and impact. It’s about cutting through the noise, the shoulds, and the expectations to uncover what really lights you up.
This journey isn’t always easy. It requires honesty, courage, and a willingness to change. But the payoff? A life aligned with your values, filled with meaning, and free from the tyranny of the unimportant.
So, what counts most to you? Whatever it is, chase it relentlessly. Because, at the end of the day, a life lived in alignment with what is essential is well-lived.
Now, go out there and make it happen. Your future self will thank you.
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