What are Dark Empath Signs, traits, characteristics and meaning? Are they real?
Researchers say a personality type exists that may be more dangerous than narcissism because it’s harder to detect.
Dark Empathy is a personality trait that many people in the world possess.
A dark empath is someone who can feel the emotions of others, but they do nothing to help, even if they can.
DISCLAIMER: THIS INFORMATION IS FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY AND IS NOT INTENDED TO BE A SUBSTITUTE FOR CLINICAL CARE. PLEASE CONSULT A HEALTH CARE PROVIDER FOR SPECIFIC GUIDANCE.
27 Dark Empath Traits & Signs
- They are Psychic Energy Drainers
- Knows how to put themselves first
- Extroverted personality
- They enjoy the discomfort of others.
- Uses their gifts to their advantage
- Uses gaslighting and charm to manipulate those around them
- Has strong cognitive Empathy to use against you
- Neurotic tendencies
- Rejection sensitive
- Full of pride
- Get moody when other people are having fun.
- A massive sense of entitlement
- Passive aggression
- They are emotional predators.
- Relationships revolve around their wants and needs to the exclusion of their partners’
- They may have a hunger for power.
- Appears friendly to your face, gossips about you behind your back.
- They tend to guilt-trip you when you don’t do what they want.
- May tell sarcastic jokes to harm you indirectly
- They are charming until they don’t get what they want
- A wolf in sheep’s clothing
- They may be covert narcissists
- They will blame you for all their problems.
- A sense of superiority over others
- They use your feelings against you.
- Emotionally unavailable in relationships
- They love to play the victim even when they instigate the problem
The Dark Empath
When you hear that someone is an empath, you may think it is a good thing. But what if someone possessed cognitive empathy and displayed dark personality traits? Would they use your feelings against you?
Would they know exactly how to behave to appear ‘kind’ and ‘normal’ while hiding their true intentions?
Are dark empaths people who faced too many complicated challenges in life and decided to turn the light of their consciousness off? Or are they born this way?
Something is terrifying about someone who can understand other people’s emotions and pains yet still decides to manipulate those affected for personal gain.
The word “dark” here signifies their true intentions are unknown to their victim until it’s too late.
After doing a lot of research on this topic, I discovered two types.
- The first is those deliberately using their gifts for personal gain and harm.
- The second is the wounded empath – who is still moral – who turned down their conscious awareness to ease their pain.
During a 2020 study on dark personality traits, psychologists discovered and coined dark empathy.
Dark Empath Personality
The term is a relatively new and describes someone with a complex and potentially harmful set of traits. Here’s what we know about them:
Key characteristics:
- High cognitive empathy: Unlike regular empaths who feel another person’s emotions as their own, dark empaths understand emotions intellectually but don’t feel them. This allows them to sense people’s feelings and vulnerabilities accurately.
- Lack of emotional empathy: Though they understand emotions, they don’t experience them deeply or genuinely. This creates a disconnect between their understanding and their actions.
- Manipulation: They often use cognitive empathy to manipulate others for personal gain. This can involve playing on people’s emotions, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, or offering false sympathy.
- Self-serving behaviors: Their actions are primarily motivated by personal gain.
- Personality overlaps: They often exhibit traits associated with personality disorders like narcissism, psychopathy, and Machiavellianism. These include inflated self-importance, lack of remorse, and a tendency to exploit others.
Distinguishing dark empaths from regular empaths
- Motivation: Regular empaths feel genuine care and concern for others, while dark empaths are motivated by self-interest.
- Emotional response: Regular empaths experience the emotions they perceive, while dark empaths process them cognitively without feeling them.
- Behavior: Regular empaths try to help others and alleviate their suffering, while dark empaths use their understanding for manipulation and control.
It’s important to note that:
- “Dark empath” is not a recognized clinical term.
- Research on this concept is limited and ongoing.
- Identifying a dark empath can be challenging due to its deceptive nature.
Dark Empath Meaning
Dark Empathy is a trait describing someone who understands another’s emotions but can’t feel them. It’s a form of cognitive/brain-only Empathy. They will use your feelings to exploit you instead of connecting with you.
They understand others’ emotions and use them to manipulate and take advantage of them. You have to watch out for the signs of a dark empath. They know what pushes your buttons and how to hurt you if they want to.
Empaths feel your emotions, whereas dark empaths do not. They are self-centered empaths.
Research shows that the personality type has the Dark Triad of traits: narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopathic tendencies.
They tend to be low in self-compassion but high in harsh self-judgment. They are also high in narcissism.
Dark empaths can feel your emotions but don’t care about them. They are selfish and use their gifts to manipulate and control you.
The dark empath is like someone with advanced social engineering skills, gaining trust while looking for openings and weaknesses to exploit.
They are very dangerous to your health because they can draw you closer to them by being more agreeable and caring about you.
They are an empath turned narcissist.
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3 Types of Empathy
The three types of empathy, according to PsychCentral:
- Cognitive empathy: The surface-level ability or choice to understand a person’s emotions without relating to them personally.
- Emotional empathy: When someone can feel and process another person’s emotions as if they were going through the experience.
- Compassionate empathy: Refers to someone who can both cognitively understand and deeply emotionally connect with another person’s situation.
An empath is a person with the paranormal ability to apprehend another individual’s mental or emotional state as if they were their own.
They feel others’ emotions most of the time, even if they’re not expressing them at that moment.
Empaths are sensitive and can quickly become overwhelmed by the feelings of others.
Empaths are intuitive personality types, usually hypersensitive, especially to other people’s emotions and conditions. They are also prone to extrasensory perception and solid instinctive reactions.
Empath is shortened from empathy, the psychological ability to identify with others’ feelings, thoughts, or attitudes.
Empathy is a necessary trait to have. It makes sure we don’t treat others too harshly or critically.
Many empaths can be flaky because they “burn out” from taking on too much without meaning to, and they need to take a break because of dealing with too much emotion from other people.
Empathic burnout is real.
Empathy comes in two ways:
- Cognitive – I know and understand your pain. (Objective)
- Affective – I can feel your pain. (subjective)
They are independent of one another but also can work together. Cognitive Empathy is seeing things from another’s point of view. Affective empathy is the ability to feel others’ emotions.
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Warning Signs You’re Dealing With A Dark Empath
Here are some warning signs:
- Charm and Charisma: They often possess charisma and charm, which they use to manipulate others into trusting them or doing what they want.
- Manipulative Behavior: They may use their understanding of emotions to manipulate others into doing things they wouldn’t normally do or to gain control over situations.
- Lack of Empathy for Others: While they may understand emotions well, they lack genuine empathy for others and may use people for their own gain without considering the consequences.
- Gaslighting: They may employ gaslighting techniques to make their victims doubt their own perceptions or reality, making it easier for them to control and manipulate.
- Emotional Vampirism: They may feed off the emotions of others, draining them emotionally for their own benefit without giving anything in return.
- Narcissistic Traits: They may exhibit traits of narcissism, such as a sense of entitlement, a lack of accountability, and an inflated sense of self-importance.
- Exploitative Behavior: They may exploit the vulnerabilities and weaknesses of others for personal gain without regard for the well-being of those they manipulate.
- Lack of Remorse: They may not feel genuine remorse for their actions, even when they cause harm to others.
- Pattern of Manipulative Relationships: They may have a history of engaging in manipulative or toxic relationships, leaving a trail of emotional wreckage behind them.
- Boundary Violations: They often have poor boundaries and may violate the boundaries of others without hesitation, seeing them as obstacles to getting what they want.
It’s important to recognize these warning signs and take steps to protect yourself if you suspect you’re dealing with a dark empath.
This may involve setting firm boundaries, seeking support from trusted friends or family members, or seeking professional help.
What Happens When An Empath Goes Dark?
Dark empaths are self-aware monsters who do bad things for a reasonable cause.
A normal empath may go dark, but they are not dark empaths. Normal empaths experience empathic burnout throughout their lives until they learn how to ground and contain their energy so they are not affected by other people.
Empaths are caring people who want to solve problems for others. This is where they get a sense of power.
However, they get burnt out when they take on too many other people’s problems. When this happens, they will “ghost” to rebalance their energy.
They act like they drive a car at night with the headlights off until their power is back. The headlights are their consciousness.
A dark empath is wired differently. In many instances, you could compare one to a narcissist.
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Dark Empath vs. Narcissist
A dark empath sounds like a covert narcissist, except for one distinct feature.
People with personality disorders like narcissism are characterized by charm and disregard for the feelings and circumstances of others. However, dark empaths may have dark characteristics associated with those conditions while still coming off as emotionally “tuned in.”
With narcissists, you know they don’t care about you, but dark empaths seem to be concerned because of their emotional gifts.
Dark empaths cognitively understand someone else’s emotions and appear invested in a relationship. But when it comes to supporting a loved one, they don’t help.
How To Deal With A Dark Empath?
Being an empath, I’ve always been perplexed when other empaths don’t help me when needed. I’m usually very helpful to others because I can feel their distress and want to alleviate their suffering as best as possible. But why don’t they help me?
This was when I discovered the dark empath. These folks are confusing until you understand how they operate. They sense and feel, but they’re not compelled to help unless they have to for some reason.
This is not to be confused with a fatigued empath. They sometimes overgive to others and not themselves.
Dark empaths are proficient at exploiting and gaslighting. They say the right things, but their actions are doing something different, usually not helping you out when you’ve done them favors in the past.
When dealing with a dark empath, you will experience dread, self-doubt, insecurity, decreased confidence and self-esteem, bewilderment, shame, and trauma.
You need to set boundaries with people who have dark empath traits and who may have a level of egotism that hinders their capacity to see their behavior as inappropriate. Never tell them your problems because they will use them against you or tell everyone about your business.
Sometimes, the best action is to cut them out of your life or stop helping them.
Can A Dark Empath Love?
A dark empath can love another, yet their love is conditional and comes with many strings attached. Whenever you get involved in any relationship, make sure to watch out for red flags like the following:
- Inconsistency
- Lying to you
- Toxic addictions
- Emotionally instability
- Excessive jealousy
- Disrespecting your personal boundaries
- They make you feel insecure
Dark Empaths in Relationships
A dark empath can seem agreeable until they don’t get their way. They may initially place you on a pedestal, making you feel like the Angel you are, and then next, they will kick the pedestal from underneath you.
They will love you one minute and hate you the next. They are a classic Jekyll and Hyde – someone who is sometimes good and pleasant and sometimes very rude or nasty.
They eventually will treat casual acquaintances and strangers better than they treat you. Eventually, your self-esteem and self-worth will be next to nothing.
Conclusion
The dark empath uses cognitive empathy to get information about you. They may pretend to care or be interested in you, but they are not.
It’s essential to be able to spot dark empaths so you can protect your emotional energy.
Look at your circle of friends and colleagues. Do they offer support when you need it? Do they support or invalidate you when you express joy in doing something?
You have to be vigilant regarding the people you interact with. If you can’t freely share your thoughts, joys, concerns, and worries and be yourself, they are not your people. Keep them at arm’s length.
Many people have been victims of their altruism. Be careful when dealing with people, and learn to work on your personal boundaries.
You are only responsible for yourself and your creations.
If you are a dark empath, it would be ideal to do shadow work so you don’t have to spend another second carrying around emotional trauma and causing harm to innocent people.
To work with the shadow, it is advised to sit with it, let the thoughts roll out regarding it, and feel the feelings associated with and acknowledge it.
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