“Never be ashamed of what you feel. You have the right to feel any emotion that you want, and to do what makes you happy. That’s my life motto.” – Demi Lovato
Do you often let your emotions get the better of you?
Do you succumb to them or do you wait for them to pass instead of acting them out?
What are emotions anyway?
I am talking about painful emotions here, the ones that at times can seem unbearable for us to even feel them, never mind actually expressing them.
What Are Emotions
First let’s talk about emotions for a second; what are they?
You’ve probably heard emotions and feelings intertwined haven’t you?
Feelings are just that feelings/ sensations in and on the body.
If I took a feather and rubbed against your arm you would “feel” it, and perhaps experience a “light” emotion in your body that is easily passed/processed through you.
Emotions have been described as “energy in motion” which is the way that emotional energy should be felt and expressed through you.
But once again I am talking about energy that you would consider painful and not easy to process such as grief, despair and depression.
That is usually why we cry when we are experiencing a painful emotion.
Crying is caused by the feeling, acknowledging and releasing of the emotion.
Just as you can become constipated by eating too much unnatural junk food your body can become constipated from too much junk energy.
Have you ever spent prolonged periods of time in “go mode” where you haven’t even taken time for yourself to just be? I have.
What happens to me when I keep going without taking some time to process my emotions is that I become sluggish. Followed by irritability, mood swings and poor quality of sleep.
Once I hit this point its either I keep going and eventually hit “burn out” or I stop everything and just allow my energy to balance itself out naturally.
I have a large leather chair in my office that I use for expressing my emotions.
It’s my spiritual toilet if you will.
When someone triggers an emotional reaction in you and “they” inevitably will, take the time to examine your belief and allow the emotion to come up.
Generally speaking when you have an emotional reaction to someones behavior towards you it’s because you have a belief that they are somehow “devaluing” you and your worth.
All emotion comes from belief.
If someone said something to you that has nothing to do with you and there is no limiting belief attached to yourself (I’m not worthy) then there would be no reaction, you would just have an observation and not an emotional reaction.
But, if you carry a belief that corresponds with someones behavior to you and you take it personally, then you will have an emotional reaction to it.
Understanding that others behavior has nothing to do with you and to take the viewpoint that their behavior has to do with whatever they are dealing with at the time.
If you keep experiencing the same emotion the same reaction that means that you haven’t gotten to the core beliefs that underly your emotional reaction.
I recommend Morty Lefkoe’s Recreate Your Life system to help with getting to core limiting beliefs that keep you going on the emotional merry-go-round.
Limiting beliefs are a “mind virus” that must be removed in order to live the life that you really want to.
Expressing emotions is just a matter of feeling them, acknowledging them and lastly releasing them.
The key is not to attach meaning or dig into them further as they come up and through you, because if you do you will just go back down the emotional hole.
It’s okay to use your mind to assess how these emotions got there in the first place but I won’t advise you to spend your time blaming another for your emotions.
Take responsibility for your emotions because I can guarantee you that your persistent thoughts about something (yourself) is what caused you to have them in the first place.
Transference of Emotions from Another
Do you have a bad day and take it out on another?
If you do then stop this.
Taking out your emotions on another doesn’t release them from you.
What it does is attach you to the other person energetically and now instead of just you feeling like crap, someone else does too.
The World doesn’t need any more pain!
Why do I feel Chest Pain when Hurt
I found this article on Scientific American about why we feel chest pain when our feelings are hurt:
When we feel heartache, for example, we are experiencing a blend of emotional stress and the stress-induced sensations in our chest—muscle tightness, increased heart rate, abnormal stomach activity and shortness of breath.
In fact, emotional pain involves the same brain regions as physical pain, suggesting the two are inextricably connected.
But how do emotions trigger physical sensations?
Scientists do not know, but recently pain researchers uncovered a possible pathway from mind to body. According to a 2009 study from the University of Arizona and the University of Maryland, activity in a brain region that regulates emotional reactions called the anterior cingulate cortex helps to explain how an emotional insult can trigger a biological cascade.
During a particularly stressful experience, the anterior cingulate cortex may respond by increasing the activity of the vagus nerve—the nerve that starts in the brain stem and connects to the neck, chest and abdomen.
When the vagus nerve is overstimulated, it can cause pain and nausea.
Empaths – (someone who experiences emotional pain on behalf of another person) often are at the receiving end of the transference of emotional energy.
They are kind of left stuck with these transferred emotions and unless they have the ability to process them, they will be stuck feeling bad because of someone else.
Empaths are too kind in this regard. Empathy is not restricted to humans either.
In 2006 a paper published in Science revealed that when a mouse observes its cage mate in agony, its sensitivity to physical pain increases.
And when it comes into close contact with a friendly, unharmed mouse, its sensitivity to pain diminishes.
Taking Ownership of your Emotions
- Acknowledge the way that you feel.
- Tell others around you that you are in an emotional state and it has nothing to do with them and that it would be best to tread lightly around you until they have passed.
- Take time BY YOURSELF to feel, acknowledge and process your emotions.
- If you find that you get “backed up” with emotions regularly I recommend that you begin doing some body energy work like: meditation, yoga, exercise, massage, Reiki or anything that gets the energy moving in your body.
- Start a journal or a diary to express your feelings safely. Like I said before, the last thing you want to do is blame another for the way that you feel. I am not advocating not communicating your needs and desires with another but do this after you have passed your emotion.
- Experiencing negative emotions is like being constipated. Its painful, uncomfortable and it needs to be passed in order to feel good again.
- If you find that you are super sensitive to your emotions than you need to strengthen your nervous system with B vitamins and “knock off” stimulants like caffeine. Lots of rest too until you feel better.
- Accept your emotions because they are a signal to you that your thoughts and your body are off kilter. What do you do when you car’s fuel gauge is on empty? You go put gas into it. Your emotions are a gauge of what you’ve been energetically putting into your body. If you don’t feel good, then examine what you are putting into your body. And fill up on rest too!
You don’t have to be a slave to your emotions or anyone’s for that matter. Learn to own your emotions or they will certainly own you.
Ultimately we all just want to feel good and alleviate the stress in our body without causing any “collateral damage.”
I would like to leave you with this message from Veronica as channeled by April Crawford.
The Seed To Understanding and Completion
“Let It Go”
“As one moves through a physical life, encounters with others are inevitable. Often the meetings result in an energy exchange that is not best.
Interaction is a way of experiencing and growing with energy. If it feels difficult and you feel you have been wronged, it is important to look at it neutrally. Keeping any sort of negativity in your energy only beckons more.
In a difficult exchange be the one to reduce the impact of the negativity by forgiving. Being right is a lonely perspective when the other party is unaware of the depth of the energy.
All of you are here to assist others to grow and become joyous.
Hanging onto negativity does not serve that high ambition.
Be compassionate. Be forgiving even if the other party is reluctant. Attach yourself to the joy of being and the idea that any dramatic exchange can and will lead to evolution.
Let go of the need to even the argument. Instead, perceive the exchange as an opportunity for all to grow and prosper.
Those who would wish to continue the negativity will ultimately be disappointed when you do not continue the negative line of exchange.
Let it go.
See the value of resolution and walk deliberately towards it. The decision can be the seed to understanding and completion.
It may be a lonely path at first, however, your commitment to it will trickle into their realities, eventually.
Release the need to be right. Be yourself. Release the energy. The situation will improve by doing so.”