“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help.” ― Abraham Lincoln
According to Wikipedia: Criticism is the practice of judging the merits and faults of something (or somebody) in an intelligible (or articulate) way.
Note it says to judge both the merits and the faults in an intelligible and articulate way.
I’ve found that generally speaking, people do not know how to criticize in this way.
What they generally do is provide negative feedback only in a not-so-intelligible way.
I call this negative criticism because it does not balance itself out with noticing the positive attributes too.
Negative criticism is futile because it puts a person on the defensive and usually makes them strive to justify themselves.
Criticism is dangerous because it wounds a person’s precious pride, hurts their sense of importance, and arouses resentment.
As much as we thirst for approval, we dread condemnation.
The resentment that criticism engenders can de-moralize employees, family members and friends, and still not correct the situation that has been condemned.
When is it alright to give it or receive it?
My response is,that it is never necessary to criticize another being.
Now there is nothing wrong with critical thinking by any stretch of the imagination, but being critical seldom serves anyone.
More than anything, criticism tends to open up “old wounds” that have never fully healed.
These old wounds were usually created in childhood.
There are certain types of people who feel it is their duty to criticize others.
That somehow they are helping that person with their point of view.
The person criticizing is usually coming from a place of feeling inadequate in themselves.
Think about it, if you were totally at peace with yourself and others, why would you want to criticize another?
I’ve seen those reality shows on T.V., they all seem to have the same theme. You have a bunch of hopeful contestants that are clearly not ready for the next level.
Then there is the panel of judges, so-called experts in their particular field.
They seem to revel in the idea of giving criticism to under performers. Like it is a job that you’re proud of or something.
“Well, I’m just giving constructive criticism“, we’ve all heard that one before.
I find absolutely no benefit to criticism what so ever. If I catch myself starting to criticize another, I will stop myself as soon as I catch it. I will redirect my thoughts and words into a direction that serves, as opposed to wounds another.
When being the recipient of criticism, I found through trial and error that the best response is none at all.
I had effectively trained myself to not take it personally, because I realized that the one doing the criticizing had once been the recipient of criticism themselves.
Usually at the hands of an overbearing parent or authority figure in their lives.
In the past, I would respond to criticism by criticizing or judging them back. Either internally with my thoughts, or externally with direct confrontation.
All this would do is make me feel worse about myself.
I was giving my power away, by letting other people’s opinions about me, affect my well-being.
I learned that it is not about me, it is all about the other person. Maybe they aren’t feeling good about themselves.
They are trying to reach you somehow. People may see that you are at a place vibrationally that they believe they cannot access.
Since they cannot reach you by raising their own vibrations, they may choose to criticize you to get you to lower your vibrations to their level of being.
It’s all about control.
How to handle criticism
When criticizers enter my life, I have learned to do a self check.
Am I being critical about others with my thoughts and words?
Did I invite this in because of something that I said or did?
People are who they are, bottom line. But if you lower your vibrations, this will allow for you to be a match for them. The opposite is true as well.
If you raise your vibrations, your experiences with people and life will improve. I usually do a mental check when interacting with others. If my experience was not what I wanted, I then begin to make some adjustments internally.
What I do next is clear out my thoughts and feelings. I get quiet and allow my subconscious thoughts to surface.
Then I tell those negative thoughts to hit the road. I have no use for them, and I will not be needing them in the future, thank you very much.
Have you ever been in a state of mind where almost nothing bothered you?
No matter what anybody said or did, you were fine with it. It’s as if their words or actions didn’t even come near your experience.
That’s the state of mind that I am talking about here. Stay in that place as long as you can.
As long as you keep yourself in the highest vibrational state possible, nothing can harm you.
You will experience what it is like to be invincible. You will begin to own yourself and your power. No longer will you begin to give it away to people for free.
Remember, that you never want to lower who you are just to make a connection with another person.
Your job, if you choose to, is to bring them up to your level.
If this is not possible then you will need to leave them as they are. They will eventually figure out what to do on their own.
Famous quotes about criticizing
“Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain and most fools do“. – Benjamin Franklin
“Anyone can negatively criticize – it is the cheapest of all comment because it requires not a modicum of the effort that suggestion requires“. – Chuck Jones
“As an actress, I have to be objective about myself. If I don’t criticize myself, there are plenty who will do a find job of it for me“! – Loretta Young
“Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you“. – William Arthur Ward
“He has a right to criticize, who has a heart to help“. – Abraham Lincoln
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right- for you’ll be criticized anyway. You’ll be damned if you do, and damned if you don’t.” –Eleanor Roosevelt
“I find that the very things that I get criticized for, which is usually being different and just doing my own thing and just being original, is the very thing that’s making me successful”. – Shania Twain
“People have said things about me, and wrote and criticized me about things in the past, but it goes in one ear and out the other”. –Floyd Mayweather, Jr.
“You can’t be sensitive, because you’re going to get criticized. I don’t care who you are, you’re going to get criticized”. –Derek Jeter