“Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy”. – Norman Vincent Peale
Struggling With a Lack of Self-Confidence is a Huge Problem by Dr. Robert Anthony.
95% of the clients I have worked with over the past 25 years have had issues with Self-Confidence in specific areas of their life.
Although feeling under-confident is not intentional, many people struggle with it their entire lives.
No one sets out to get stuck in a job they don’t like because they don’t have the Self-Confidence to change jobs or start their own business.
No one sets out to get stuck in a disempowering relationship or social circle, surrounded by people who don’t really love and care about them.
No one sets out to be indecisive and procrastinate.
No one sets out to be nervous and anxious in social situations.
No one set out to struggle financially.
No one sets out to be unhealthy, overweight and out of shape.
But even though you may not have intentionally set out to have these things in your life, it’s a safe bet that some or all of them affect your life in one way or another.
Unfortunately these kinds of problems usually don’t solve themselves. More often than not, they actually get worse.
A mediocre career doesn’t suddenly get better. It acts like a slow sinking ship over a period of years.
A bad financial situation (too much debt, not earning enough money, not experiencing financial flow) doesn’t magically fix itself.
A disempowering social circle or relationship situation doesn’t suddenly become uplifting and supportive. Usually it drags you down further with each passing year.
An inability to respond confidently in social situations, meet new people, or ask for a date doesn’t suddenly get better over time.
A battle with your weight or lack of exercise won’t change by buying the next exercise gadget or reading another diet book.
Without the Self-Confidence to change these situations we often feel stuck.
Rather than making the changes, we turn to multiple forms of distraction — web surfing, TV, video games, compulsive drinking, smoking, eating, drugs, etc.
Deep down, the lack of Self-Confidence and dissatisfaction builds because we know our lives have gotten way off track.
But how do we fix it? – Let’s take a look.
You can only go for so many years dealing with boring jobs, inadequate finances, unsupportive relationships, and destructive health habits.
Eventually those things will begin to erode your Self-Confidence.
Seriously now… isn’t it much better to admit that we need to handle our Self-Confidence issues as opposed to denying we have them?
Lots of people succumb to denial. They act like they’re growing, evolving and successful, when in reality nothing is significantly changing for them.
So how can you determine if you can use some help in building your Self-Confidence?
There is a simple formula that will measure your current Level of Self-Confidence with 100% accuracy.
The first step is to look at your life and see if there is any evidence that you’re significantly better off now vs. 90 days ago?
What amazing results have you accomplished during that time?
The second step is to give each result a number from 1-10.
1 would be nothing has changed, and 10 would be significant progress.
If you’re really confident in EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE and making progress, you should be able to name a number of significant breakthroughs that occurred during the last 90 days, and they should be objective and observable.
Circle each one and rate them from 1-10.
Some examples of specific results include:
Fulfilling work or business projects you completed.
A positive shift in your finances (Where are you now vs. 90 days ago? Did your income go up? Did your debt go down? Do you have more money or assets? Fewer liabilities? Did you make some intelligent investments?)
A positive change in your relationships (What evidence is there that you deepened your current relationships? Broke off an unhealthy relationship? Added empowering new friends to your social circle?)
A positive change in your health status (Did you lose fat? Did you gain strength, flexibility, or endurance? Did you adopt some positive new health habits?)
What does your recent past and your rating from 1-10 say about your Current Level of Self Confidence?
If there’s little or no evidence that significant change has occurred in EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE within the past 90 days, it’s safe to say you’re stuck and you lack Self-Confidence in those specific areas.
And if you can’t see any real measurable progress over the past year, then you are REALLY stuck!
Looking To the Past to Predict the Future will not help your self-confidence
The truth is that past performance is the best predictor of future performance.
This is not only true for individuals, but for teams and companies.
If you want to know where your current path is taking you – look to your past. That’s the best way to predict where you’re headed.
Looking to your past is more reliable than looking at your goals and intentions.
If I want to know where someone is headed, I’ll take a look at their past, especially their recent past, and make a prediction based on that.
I am not interested in hearing about their goals and intentions.
I just want to know what they’ve been up to for the past few months, and that will give me a pretty good idea of where they’ll be in a year or so.
We may not be able to predict what will happen tomorrow or next week with much accuracy, but barring an unusual chaotic change, our lives tend to be a lot more predictable over longer periods of time than we care to admit.
Consider some of the people in your life — people you know pretty well.
Can you reasonably predict where they’ll be a year from now?
Can you make a decent guess at where they’ll be in terms of their career, finances, relationships, health, spiritual growth, etc?
I’m not asking you to predict the exact outcome.
I’m simply asking you to paint a general picture of what you expect each person’s life will look like in a year or so.
My guess is you will be pretty accurate because you can be objective.
Predicting Your Future – Self Confidence
Sometimes it’s easier to make predictions about other people instead of ourselves.
When we look at other people’s lives, we are much more objective.
It can be pretty tough to look at ourselves objectively, especially when we don’t like what we see.
No one wants to predict that a year from now, they’ll have lost their home due to foreclosure, gained 20 pounds of fat, and endured a string of bad relationships.
Make some predictions about where you’ll be in a year, but base your predictions only on hard factual evidence from the past 90 days of your life. Assume those same patterns will continue for another 12 months.
Where will they lead if you largely repeated the patterns of the past 90 days for a full 12 months?
Telling Yourself the Truth – Self Confidence
A huge part of telling yourself the truth is being able to make honest, objective predictions about where you’re headed.
In order to make accurate predictions, you cannot use your goals or intentions as an accurate indicator of where you will be in the future.
Imagine that you’re in a court of law that’s trying to make a ruling based on the facts of the case.
Your goals and intentions for the future are inadmissible as evidence because they are not hard facts. They’re merely opinions or speculation about what may be.
Based on the hard facts – your recent past – what do you think that ruling would be?
In order to make accurate predictions of where you’re headed, you must look to your recent past and only your recent past.
This may be something you didn’t want to hear, but I am just being honest with you.
When you study and learn from your past, you’ll notice certain patterns that come up repeatedly that keep you stuck.
All of these patterns are rooted in your lack of Self-Confidence to follow through and make the changes.
One of those patterns is the “start-stop” approach.
This is when someone gets a strong desire to change.
They feel a surge of positive emotion and decide that finally things will be different. They usually believe it too.
They set some new goals and intentions and start taking some actions, but because of a lack of Self-Confidence their actions are inconsistent.
Most of their actions are one-offs, meaning that they never get integrated as permanent habits.
For example they get highly motivated to change – usually after reading a book or taking a personal development program – then they will get started, but that’s usually as far as it goes.
Eventually the excitement over the new direction and information fizzles, and the person stops changing and gets sucked back into their old under-confident patterns from the past.
No real lasting change occurs.
Now don’t get me wrong.
Goals and intentions are powerful.
Having clarity about what you’re going to do next is important.
But deciding what you want is only the first step.
And if that’s all you do, then I predict you will have some occasional success, but for the most part your life will be a repeated pattern of “start-stop” mediocrity.
I’ve seen that pattern play out enough times across enough people’s lives that I consider such results fairly predictable.
The Root Cause for lack of self-confidence
The root cause of our “start-stop” behavior is the inability to feel confident enough to follow through and make the necessary changes until we get the results we desire.
Not if, but until.
Most people do not have enough Self-Confidence to create the life they deserve.
This saddens me, which is why I’ve made it my personal mission to do something about it.
I would love to walk down the street and see that spark of happiness and confidence in everyone’s eyes.
But today what I see most often are people with low levels of Self-Confidence who are unhappy and struggling to express their True Self.
There are four things that keep most people from expressing the full force of their True Self…..
1. Lack of fulfilling work (not doing what they love, not contributing)
2. Financial struggle (too much debt, not earning enough money, not experiencing financial flow)
3. Lack of loving relationships (unsupportive, disempowering, apathetic or negative social circle; no one to love and be loved by)
4. Poor health (lack of energy and vitality, feeling tired, struggling with health issues.)
These are the most common killers of long term happiness.
But here is something important for you to know.
All of these problems are really just symptoms. The real issues go much deeper.
Most personal development books and programs are focused fixing these symptoms.
But they never identify and treat the root cause that gives rise to those symptoms.
Consequently, even people who study personal growth for most of their life never seem to be able to “lock on” to success. It always eludes them.
But some people succeed in a really big way with:
1. Deeply fulfilling work that expresses their creativity and contributes to the world.
2. A wonderful flow of financial abundance that makes it easy to afford whatever they wish to experience.
3. Loving and supportive relationships with people who genuinely care about them.
4. High levels of energy, vitality, and excitement — mentally, physically, and emotionally.
This is because they have Unstoppable Self-Confidence.
Do you think that knowing how to build Unstoppable Self-Confidence to achieve these results might serve you?
When you have Unstoppable Self Confidence you can tackle — and defeat — the three demons that keep you stuck.
Let’s briefly discuss each one.
Denial – First, in order to get unstuck be honest enough to admit the truth of your current situation. If you’re stuck, don’t pretend that you’re making progress.
Denial cannot help you change your situation.
It’s imperative that you start being honest with yourself.
Look to the past 90 days, as well as look at your past patterns and see what sort of progress you’re REALLY making.
Stop kidding yourself that things will somehow magically get better in the future.
Your future is actually quite predictable.
If you keep doing the same things over and over again, and they haven’t worked in the past, it’s safe to say you won’t make much progress in the future.
Giving up denial and identifying and eliminating the thought patterns, beliefs and behaviors that are eroding your Self-Confidence is an essential part of permanent and lasting change.
Disconnection – The second confidence killer is disconnection.
This is when you lose sight of your passion, dreams, and desires. Disconnection leads to hopelessness.
If you want to have a successful and happy life it’s your responsibility to stay plugged in to your desires.
Don’t let them die.
What do you want to experience?
Think about your desires often.
Make connecting with your desires a central part of your life, but you can only do this if you feel Self-Confident.
When people are plugged in to their desires, their eyes are sparkling and full of life.
Take a moment to go look at yourself in a mirror.
Do you see that sparkle in your eyes?
Does your image reflect happiness, fulfillment and a feeling of Self-Confidence?
Or is it reflecting disappointment, regret and a lack of Self-Confidence?
You can break the feeling of disconnection once and for all by creating Unstoppable Self-Confidence.
Inaction – Inaction is the third confidence killer.
This can take the form of procrastination, indecisiveness and low levels of self-discipline.
The lack of inspired action consists of the inability to maintain momentum in the face of external pressures and follow through on your goals and plans.
The proven antidote for inaction is to deliberately train yourself to become more confident in your ability to succeed.
Realize that the denial, disconnection or the inability to take inspired action is not a permanent condition.
Stop running from your fears as if they are permanent and start seeing them as temporary roadblocks that you can bust through with Unstoppable Self Confidence.
You can train yourself to make the necessary changes.
Not actively training yourself to increase your Self-Confidence is one of the worst personal growth mistakes you can ever make.
I’ve seen people have some incredible breakthroughs when they finally said to themselves – “I have had enough of not feeling confident.”
They got fed up.
They recognized that their inability to break their patterns was rooted in their lack of Self-Confidence and they committed themselves to creating Unstoppable Self-Confidence.
The key lesson here is that if we want to grow, then ultimately we must stop succumbing to denial, disconnection, and our inability to take inspired action because of our lack of Self-Confidence.
You Can Reinvent Yourself with improved self-confidence
At every moment, you get to choose your identity.
You get to appoint yourself and anoint yourself to be the person you want to be.
You can literally reinvent yourself.
Don’t allow your current lack of Self-Confidence to become a life sentence!
Do something about it now. If you’re stuck at all today – let me be your outside force!
My Self-Confidence Creator can help you.
I have made it practical, easy-to-learn, and easy-to-apply.
And, you will begin to see a noticeable increase in your Self-Confidence in 7 days or less!
In his book “The Hero’s Journey” Joseph Campbell sums it up when he says – “We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, to have the life that is waiting for us.”
Your new life is waiting for you – Self-Confidence
You can continue to feel under-confident in certain situations, or you can take your life to whole new level and create Unstoppable Self Confidence in EVERY situation.
You deserve an amazing life filled with happiness, success, and abundance.
If you are ready to get started?
>>>Please check out the Self-Confidence Creator by Dr. Robert Anthony and learn from the best in the business!
P.S. I am an affiliate for this product and will receive a commission on any sales. 🙂