“Watch out for the joy-stealers: gossip, criticism, complaining, faultfinding, and a negative, judgmental attitude.” – Joyce Meyer
We often use negativity as a tool to create change. If we nag our kids, spouse, employees long enough then they will change.
Being negative does not serve you, nor does it promote effective change. Being negative has a negative effect on your health and your perspective about life.
Complaining is a form of negativity
Being negative by complaining about someone else’s behavior will negate any chance of a positive outcome. When I hear someone complaining about another it makes me believe that they are not in control of themselves.
Sure, it’s easier to complain about another, but how about focusing on what you can change in yourself. I know how it is to deal with difficult people but dealing with them does not have to bring you down to their level which is what they want anyway.
Never overestimate your ability to change another. Never underestimate your ability to change yourself.
When you find yourself complaining or criticizing another person, stop your momentum as soon as you can. Change what you are saying into something more positive in relation to who you are.
We learned this behavior of complaining by other people in our lives. It’s like an automatic response mechanism that we use when things are not going our way. I’ve been around ” successful” people and I seldom hear them complain about other people.
They focus on their lives and what they can control. Successful people tend to focus on creating more value for themselves and the world. Through the value that they have created, it has allowed them to live financially abundant lifestyles.
Focus your attention within, and do the work there first. The outside world will reflect your inner world. As above, so below.
Be around inspiring people
I like being around inspired people, or at least listen to them on an audio program or you tube. It brings my level of being more into alignment with who I really am. I enjoy listening to Dr. Wayne Dyer, Abraham Hicks, Tony Robbins and many other spiritually committed people.
My feelings always improve while I listen to them speak. I now do this as part of my daily routine.
Now I am not suggesting that you become some type of “Pollyanna”. I’m not saying to stick your head in the dirt every time a challenge arises. I am suggesting that you change your outdated approach to problem solving.
“You can’t solve a problem at the same level of awareness that created it,” as Einstein so eloquently said. This means when we created or co created challenges in our lives we were probably in a less aware state of being.
In order to overcome these challenges, we must raise our awareness of who we are to get beyond them.
This will require redefining who we are in relation to our challenges. If we created challenges, then we can also create solutions. Ask yourself if there is any kind of payout to you for creating challenges in your life.
It is possible that you get some level of comfort from creating challenges. Just learn to get excited that the power is in you to change any circumstance in your life.
Do a test to see what your life experience is like when you respond negatively to challenges. Take notes, and see what the results are for you. Do another test to see how life experiences are when you respond positively to challenges.
You will find that life is much easier and in the flow when you stay positive. The great news is, when you have effectively learned how to create in your life, you will no longer be afraid to take risks. The fear that was once holding you back will be diminished.
Remember to always hold your thoughts and words in alignment with who you really are. I don’t believe anyone is negative by nature, it is just like a bad habit that you will want to drop.
If you want to change a situation, it is easier for you to change the way you feel. By trying to change the situation directly through action first, you may not get your desired outcome.
When you look into a mirror and you see a frown you don’t attempt to change the mirror do you? The moment you decide to smile the reflection on the mirror has no choice but to smile back.
Many of us try to change physical reality(the mirror) instead of changing us the (the person looking in the mirror.) Do not try to manipulate physical reality, instead change who you are.
That’s all that it takes, it’s that simple. If it doesn’t seem that simple to you, it is because you have a belief that says so. Change your beliefs to what is true for you and your reality will reflect the new belief.
Good feelings through good thoughts, keep doing that. When you are feeling good only good things will come to you. The opposite is true as well, if you hadn’t noticed.