“I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance but by our disposition.” – Martha Washington
Are you unhappy with yourself and your life? Don’t worry if you answered “yes” because you are not alone. If you honestly answered this question with a “yes” than keep reading.
Some causes of unhappiness in people
- You never stated your happiness goals. Most people live life in default mode. What I mean by this is that you probably define happiness in terms that are not yours. Family, friends, cultural, religious and so on probably are where you learned what are acceptable terms for happiness. Since happiness is a personal choice, only you can define what happiness is for you. The easiest way to do this is to pay attention to what brings you joy and what doesn’t. Be honest about it.
- You let everything that doesn’t work out in your life make you feel bad. It’s easy to feel bad; also it’s easy to feel good as well. Be sensible with your expectations. No one is perfect.
- You’re running on empty. It’s easy to feel unhappy when your body is tired. Life will go on without you so you might as well take as much time as you need to recharge your body.
- Feeding your body foods and drinks that do not serve it. Eating processed foods, sugar, alcohol, meats and other stuff will not keep your body flowing properly. Eat for health, not for pleasure. Be sensible here as well.
- Your life is changing. Change can be exciting, but it can also be stressful. During times of change be sure to take time to relax, meditate, read a book or write in your journal. Change is initially stressful to the mind so be sure to take it easy during the transition.
- Letting other people bring you down. With all your best efforts of “staying spiritual,” I know it can be hard to maintain your composure when being around negative people or places. Keep your vibes up by carefully staying positive, especially your thoughts and reactions. All it takes is one little moment of unconscious reaction to bring you from a place of high vibrations to a lower place of being. If this happens just focus on your breathing for a few minutes to anchor yourself.
- Trying to do too much. How many times have you over obligated yourself? We all do because part of being human is the desire to contribute outside of ourselves. The secret is to find the delicate balance of helping others while at the same time not placing too much of a burden on yourself. It’s okay to say no sometimes.
- The best remembrance for you to be happy is to count your blessings. Just take a few minutes a day and say out loud all the things you are grateful for. You will be surprised how quickly you will go from feeling unhappy to happy. It’s all about perspective anyway.
A personal story that happened to me about a week ago.
Whenever I feel unhappy I look for ways to be of service to someone else.
Just last week I was feeling a bit run down and not so happy.
I was on my way to the local gas station and while pulling in to fill up I noticed an elderly gentleman walking in front of my truck towards the gas station door.
He was walking rather slowly, taking very small steps as he went. I waved to him as I pulled up to the gas pump. He changed direction from going inside the gas station and began to walking back towards my truck.
He asked me if I could help him get some gas. He had a credit card but wasn’t sure how to use it, I guessed.
So he handed it to me. I swiped his card, handed it back to him and asked him what grade he preferred. He said, “regular”. So I put the gas nozzle in his truck and pressed “regular” at the pump.
I filled it up for him and asked him if he wanted his receipt. He said, “No”.
The elderly man than shook my hand and as he squeezed he placed something in there. He then said to me, “I am ninety-four years old, don’t get old.”
We shared a smile with each other and we both got back into our vehicles and went our separate ways.
I checked my hand to see what he had given me when we shook hands. It was one of those gold dollar pieces. Let me say, I went from unhappy to happy in just a few seconds.
When in doubt, be of service to someone. Be open to it always.