From Fear to Love

Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future.  If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay.  Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously.  Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones.” – Thich NhatHanh

First off let me say I don’t believe emotions are a bad thing. Fear, just like any emotion is a state of being. However, for the sake of being your best, I wouldn’t recommend staying in the place of fear for too long.

Feel the Fear and Do it Anyway by Susan Jeffers, was the first personal development book that I had ever read. This was back in 1997 when I began my journey into personal growth.

I knew that fear was a key part that was keeping me from taking action. My fear was based upon insecurity and doubt. here were many things that I wanted to experience in life such as traveling out of the country or learning how to scuba dive, ( which I eventually learned how to do at the Cayman Islands).

Fear and Love and the Fear of Love

I even had a fear of love at one time. Yes, I was afraid of being in love with another.

It took me many years to learn to let go of this fear of love and to get to the root cause of it.

Panic attacks are a symptom of a closed heart. When you cut yourself off from love panic attacks and other symptoms will soon occur.

I always believed that life is about growing and expanding yourself. But I often times would experience hesitation when trying something new.

I soon realized that this was my mind/ego’s attempt to keep me safe. I was becoming increasingly frustrated with my inability to move forward. It was my unexamined subconscious beliefs that were holding me back from creating a different reality. Beliefs that I could die, get hurt, embarrass myself or my family.

Beliefs create your fears

These beliefs were actually hurting my chance at experiencing all that life has to offer. Beliefs are merely thoughts that we keep thinking to ourselves. Because we label something as a belief we tend to give it more power than it deserves. Thoughts/ beliefs cannot be changed all at once though.

You can bridge your negative beliefs by propping them up with good feeling things that you already believe in. Most people cringe at the idea of change. The status quo is a way of life for people who enjoy a static lifestyle.

I tend to get easily bored with repetition. Sure we do need some degree of certainty in our lives, but we also need growth as well. You can’t keep doing the same things over and over and expect your life to improve.

You will have to stretch yourself in some areas to see change. It’s been my experience that if you do not continually grow and expand yourself, then life will come in and do it for you. I would rather consciously choose what areas that I want to grow in than let the Universe do it for me.

It’s like picking your classes for college, would you rather choose them or let someone else do it for you?


Should you face your fears head on

Some people may choose to face their fears head on. I have tried this approach and it is not the best one for me. I had become desensitized to fear through this approach. This was not the result that I was looking for in myself.

Facing fear head on was also out of alignment with my well-being. I began to realize that being in a state of fear while supposedly facing my fears would be harmful to me.

I had to change the way I felt on the inside first, if I was to make any significant changes on the outside of my life. That’s when the “aha”  moment occurred in my thinking.

The best place to start when going into any uncertain territory in life would be joy. If I cannot get to the level of joy emotionally then I will get to a level of curiosity. With curiosity you are not 100% in the flow, but you are willing to move forward.

Going into a new direction in life with a fear based mindset will make it almost unbearable to move forward. Keep moving your thoughts up the emotional scale until you feel better. Process your thoughts until you find thoughts  that make you feel good.

I am visual, so I will show you a scale of how this works. This is a simple diagram of an emotional scale.

Love or Above

At any given time you are experiencing emotions between love and fear. Most of us experience emotions somewhere in the neutral zone. The neutral zone would be considered the “safe area” in the zone.

Your not down or up, just in the middle of the emotional zone. A neutral emotion would be indifferent. You don’t care one way or the other. I make it a habit now when I  first wake up to check where I am on the emotional scale.

My goal everyday is to stick around the love area, or as close as I can get myself to it. I know that if you are feeling ill, or just got ” hit” with some bad news, it will be difficult to move up the scale. With some effort all day and everyday this will become easier for you. Like trying anything new, it will not be easy the first time.

Repetition is the mother of skill, the more you do something, the easier and more automatic it gets. After a while it will just become habit to place yourself into the Love Zone. From a place of love, life becomes much more manageable and enjoyable.

One more note about love. When we are in a state of love, we are in essence being our natural selves. Sometimes all that it takes is just a few minutes of being in a loving state to allow good things to come to us. Try it for yourself.

“There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life.  When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance.  We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections.  If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create.  Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life.” ― John Lennon

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