Empower Hour with Hiten Vyas – My Experience
Yesterday I had the most amazing transformational experience with Hiten Vyas. We connected on Skype for an hour-long “Empower Hour” with Hiten (pronounced Hitten like mitten).
So who is Hiten Vyas and what is an Empower Hour you might be asking? Let me tell you a little about Hiten.
Hiten Vyas according to his site’s bio is: a person who stutters (stammers). Throughout his life he has experienced the worry, fear and humiliation that go with wanting to speak but not being able to do so. But, through hard work, building confidence and doing the things he was afraid of the most, he has been able to get on with his life.
These days Hiten seeks to help you do the same! He is also the Chief Editor of the one of the major blogs in the stuttering community, the popular Stuttering Hub.
He has a PhD in Biomedical Information Systems, is a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), trained by Dr Bobby Bodenhamer in the United States, and is an Associate Member of the Association of Coaching.
Hiten is located in the U.K. and has a really cool accent to prove it. Not as good as the Baltimore accent but really close. 
I don’t stutter or stammer, well unless I had too much coffee but that is for another post. So how could I review Hiten’s services? Besides helping people who stammer/stutter Hiten is also an NLP Master Practitioner who can help you with removing limiting beliefs about yourself. Remember, limiting beliefs live in the subconscious mind and cannot simply be changed from reading more self-help books or articles on the net.
What needs to happen is the limiting belief needs to be collapsed and replaced with one that empowers you using NLP techniques that involve, words, physical movement and emotion. And that is exactly what Hiten did with me during our Empower Hour session.
The Empower Hour
During The Empower Hour you and Hiten will concentrate on a key situation such as worrying about giving a job interview, anxiety about talking on the phone, nervous about asking a girl or guy out on date or fearful about giving a presentation at work etc, and what you need to do to approach the situation with confidence.
Whatever your situation is, you and Hiten will explore them further, break down all the thought structures and beliefs around them, and then he’ll share and go through tools and techniques that can make a difference for you. He can help you do the following:
- Change the way you think about your current challenge and yourself, so you can approach your challenging situation with confidence.
- Overcome negative beliefs about yourself and your difficult situation, and replace them with empowering ones.
- Develop a new and confident self-image to help increase your self-esteem and change your outlook on the situation.
After your Empower Hour session you will receive via email a task list of 3-4 things for you to do, that will help you improve your situation. Basically a recap of the tasks that you did during your Empower Hour session.
Hiten will then keep e-mailing you to make sure that the tasks are done! This is to help you stay focused and continue to encourage you until you have completed your tasks. He will also be at hand to briefly answer questions via e-mail, if you get stuck or need further help.
My challenge to overcome
I’ve spoken about it before on other blog posts but one major challenge that I have carried with me since childhood was expressing my real feelings to another. I always had this hesitation about expressing my own views, opinions, thoughts and feelings out loud for fear of belittlement, angry reactions and getting myself upset by other people’s reactions.
So when Hiten asked me what specific challenge I wanted to work on, (believe me I have more) my first reaction was I wanted to remove the limiting belief of, “I am responsible for the way other people feel and react to what I say.”
Yes, I carried this limiting subconscious belief since childhood and I even remember when this belief was anchored in my nervous system. When I was 4, maybe 5 years old I said something to an authority figure in my life (one whom I respected obviously but will not reveal who) that hurt his feelings.
I don’t remember exactly what I said, at 4 or 5 the verbal filters were not functioning, but it hurt his feelings anyway and in my mind and body that was a bad thing. I remember thinking to myself back then, “what are feelings?” I hadn’t a clue and all I could see in my minds eyes were ceiling tiles, like on a drop ceiling. I guess because it rhymed with feelings.
I left that interaction with the male authority figure with these new set of beliefs about myself, 1.) Feeling bad about myself because I said something wrong 2.) That I have the power to hurt people’s feelings even though at the time I didn’t know what feelings were. 3.) Speaking will cause pain to others. I suddenly became more withdrawn at this time.
I have a background in NLP myself even though I am not certified like Hiten is. In NLP there are “people types.” My type, according to the way my mind, thoughts, and emotions work, link things up immediately. This can be either a good thing or a bad thing, but as a child linking up everything immediately causes feelings of uncertainty.
It’s like some people can burn themselves on a stove and immediately link up in their brain that touching a hot stove is harmful and will take precautions to never do it again. While others seem to burn themselves repeatedly on a hot stove and have not changed their behavior immediately to not burn themselves on a stove again.
Obviously the belief that I am responsible for the way that others feel and react does not serve me and I needed to change it to a more empowering one. One that allowed me more freedom of expression.
The new belief
“People are responsible for the way they feel and react and not me.” This was the new belief that Hiten was able to anchor into my nervous system which is the place where beliefs are formed.
Hiten uses several techniques to do this. The first one involves using a lot of emotion and body movements like hand gestures and vocal control. After doing this one for about fifteen minutes I was sweating and I could feel the tightness that was in my chest and throat loosen up. These are the areas known as the throat and heart chakra. If they are too closed then you will have trouble speaking and feeling.
Hiten gently yet confidently walked me through various ways of collapsing the old belief and anchoring in the new one during our Empower Hour session.
The old belief that was collapsed: “I believe I am responsible for the way other people feel and react to what I say.”
The new belief that was instilled: “People are responsible for the way they feel and react.”
Looking back at the old belief I can see what kind of people who I attracted into my life. People that were aware on some level that I take ownership of their feelings and that I believed it was my responsibility to make them feel better/solve their problems. No wonder I always felt so drained in my relationships.
After the coaching session Hiten emailed me some follow-up tasks like the one below. This way the effects of the session don’t wear off too quickly and you end up going back to the old way of thinking and feeling.
Hi Justin,
It was good talking with you earlier. Please find your tasks below:
1. Practice saying a strong and powerful NO to the belief which I do not want and saying a powerful and strong ‘YES’ to the belief I do want – Do exercise once a day for 5 minutes (around 2.5 minutes saying ‘NO’ and 2.5 minutes saying ‘YES’) for 7days.
Belief I don’t want:
I believe I am responsible for the way other people feel and react to what I say.
Belief I do want:
That people are responsible for the way they feel.
2. Say the following sentences out aloud, 10 times for each, once a day, for 7 days,allowing yourself to experience all the corresponding pictures, sounds and feelings throughout your mind and body:
“I accept myself.”
“I appreciate myself.”
“I am in awe of myself.”
3. Say the following sentences (and fully experience the empowering states associated with them, allowing all pictures, sounds and feelings to emerge in your mind-body), 10 times each, every day for 7 days:
“I understand that people are responsible for the way they feel.”
“I believe that people are responsible for the way they feel.”
“From this day forward, people are responsible for the way they feel.”
“The one thing I will do today as an expression of these feelings, to make this belief decision real is I’m going to express myself with honesty.”
“And tomorrow I’m going to express myself with honesty.”
I’ll e-mail you in a couple of days to see how you’re getting on.
Please let me know if you have any questions.
Best wishes,
Hiten
Work With Hiten
An Empower Hour session lasts about one hour and the fee is £45.00 Great Britain Pounds or around $69.00 U.S. dollars.
To have an Empower Hour session with Hiten go to this page to set it up. Or visit Hiten’s website Hiten Vyas.com to learn more about him.
Note: This was a sponsored product review.
Category: Personal/ Spiritual Growth
About the Author (Author Profile)
I became curious about what motivates people’s behavior and attitudes, and what is the secret formula to success. As a result I got my hands on every piece of material that I could find to answer these questions.
I have immersed myself with knowledge and experience for over 15 years pertaining to the fields of Psychology, Personal Development, Spirituality, Physical Health and Vitality, and Metaphysical Studies. I have read over 700 books, 1000s of blog posts and listened to over 100 audio programs pertaining to personal growth. I’ve made tons of mistakes along the way but more importantly I learned from them.Now it is my turn to share what I know with you. Are you ready? Let’s Rock!
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Hi Justin,
I thoroughly enjoyed reading about how you went through your own personal process with Hiten.
I believe that the self limiting beliefs we have, we chose to deal with in this life time so that we can overcome them.
To do so we often have to find what I view as bridges to our liberation. These bridges consist of ways and facilitators of these ways, who help us along the path. Hiten is clearly a gifted facilitator and bridge for those who connect with him.
I have used NLP personally quite extensively and with much success over the last ten years. As with all personal development, NLP has the potential to work wonders when we are ready to take responsibility and do the work that is part and parcel of crossing the bridge.
Isn't it fantastic that when we are ready our next teacher always appears!
~Marcus
marcus_baker Hi Marcus,
Thank you for your kind words. I loved the point you made about each of us having to find our 'bridges' to assist us on our journeys to freedom. My most recent two were a couple of Buddhist monks who taught me to meditate and got me going on this path.
Yes, I agree that NLP has the potential to help a person make some major changes in their lives. But as you quite rightly said, the individual has to take responsibilty for their current situation and what he/she is experiencing, and be willing to receive another way of doing things from the facilitator.
Thanks for your comment Marcus and for dropping by.
Wow Justin, thanks for sharing your experience with us in such detail.
I hope you don't take this the wrong way but when I read what you were having difficulty with my first thought was "just hang around me for a day and you'll get over that real quick." :-) I'm definitely not afraid to speak my mind at all. But I always warn people that if you ask me a question, be ready for my answer because I'll give you my honest answer. A lot of people ask you things because they are expecting to hear a different answer.
I had a horrible limiting belief years ago. My Dad use to always tell everyone that I was the "strong one". Since I was pretty young when I first heard him say this I thought it meant that I had to be strong and not show any emotion. From that day forward I wouldn't show my true emotions to people. If I got upset and wanted to cry I would wait until I was alone. This went on for years until I went into therapy a year after my divorce.
I went home and had a conversation with my Dad and he apologized profusely because that's not what he meant at all. I'm so glad we worked that out between us but it did take me some time to not hold those emotions in. I can see where these particular exercises would be very beneficial for this.
Thanks for sharing this with us Justin and it sounds like Hiten is a master at his craft!
AdrienneSmith Hi Adrienne,
Thanks for sharing your experiences with you Dad. It reminded me of a characteristic I had when I was younger, and had to do a lot work to get over. It was living up to my parents' expectations. I don't think parents mean to (although they don't realise the negative impact it can have by doing so), but they can say things, and we as children take it as meaning this is the way I'm expected to behave. In the long run an individual can create a belief that "I'm not good enough", especially if he/she is not able to live up to the 'expectations'. This is what happened to me. It's good to hear you and your Dad were able to talk about it in later years.
Thanks for commenting Adrienne and for your contribution.
Thank you both for sharing so honestly and openly. It is an empowering gift for all. Clearly Hiten has overcome a stifling limiting belief and if he can do it once, he can certainly teach others to do the same. We must be willing to question every limiting belief that we now hold as precious and true. When we no longer allow echoing NO’s to delude us, life unfolds like a fairy tale as we release the dynamic force of WOW into it.
MindAdventure Hi Rob,
I really like your point about questioning every limiting belief. It is these very things that hold us back from reaching our true potential. The thing about limiting beliefs is they are usually based upon evidence that is distorted and unreal, but we have made a 'reality' for ourselves. And deep down we have said YES to this distorted 'reality'. In the same way, we can say NO to them, and by adding the WOW on top as you stated, we can shatter those limiting beliefs into a thousand pieces!
Thanks for commenting Rob and for your contribution.
This is really good stuff Justin. I've been checking out Mazzastick.com since you dropped by my blog and I'm impressed with the content but more importantly, the authenticity. Looks like you're building a great community here and helping people share their own vulnerability helps us all grow.
The Empower Hour sounds like a fascinating experience! Thanks for sharing it with us and thanks to Hiten for facilitating it.
joeyjoejoe Thanks Joel. I could probably go through 20 more sessions with Hiten and not even be halfway through all of my stuff yet. That session with Hiten was "real" if you know what I mean. It was an emotional high and I felt very alive. Maybe time for another one. :)
My latest conversation: Life - The Sum of Your Choices
Justin Mazza Thanks Justin! I like to look at it like this. The more stuff we have the better! It just gives us more to get rid of! :-)
joeyjoejoe Hi Joel,
I agree with your points about Mazzastick.com being a great place where we can share problems and the ways we have used to try and overcome them. It's fantastic how we can learn so much from each other by doing this.
Thanks a lot for your comment Joel.
that's inspiring justin
i always get inspired by people who are challenged and who manage to get on with their lives
thanks for the post and keep it up
2knowmyself Hi Farouk,
That's the amazing thing about learning from people, right? If someone has overcome a difficulty in their lives, then this is living proof that we can also do so, if are experiencing the same challenge.
Thanks for commenting and it's good to connect with you. I loved your site by the way. :-)
Good example of a belief and the consequences. I tend to find that I work best by actually doing whatever it is I'm worried about. For example, when my divorce hit, I got escorted out of my home by a friendly officer over some domestic violence allegations. I wasn't expecting it, on many fronts.
I had to go to court over it and it was dismissed as I knew it would be, but I started having trouble when I'd drive through the town. I kept feeling anxious and stressed and "stuck". I knew I had to go back to my old neighborhood and drive through it even though everything in my body screamed at me not to. Once I did that, I was fine. So, if I had your belief, I'd probably find someone and say how I felt and simply observe but not from a triggered point of view. I know that method isn't for everyone, but that's how I roll.
P.S. I like a lot of the changes you've made. Looking sleeker.
Joe Bill Hi Joe,
I like the way you approach negative beliefs. You are totally right. A fantastic way to overcome the negative belief, is to actually go out do the very activity that is causing problems and helping to keep the belief in place. With all NLP change work it's important to actually finish off by testing in the real world to ensure that one has made progress.
Many thanks for your comment and it's nice to meet you.
Hiten Vyas Yeah, I think reality is always the big exam. You can mentally flex all you want, but when you get to reality, that's where the rubber hits the road. I've learned I can think myself lots of ways, but when a situation is actually in front of me, well, that's another matter.
Good to meet you too.
Joe Bill Thanks Joe, I won 2 free themes just from commenting on a blog. I still need to find someone to redesign my header for me in exchange for free ad space on my blog for two months. They can have their ad anyplace they want for those 2 months.
Justin Mazza I just might know a guy who could help you with that. We should do some emailing sometime and you can specify a little more what you have in mind.
Wonderful post Justin and Hiten!
I have recently had the chance to get acquainted to Hiten and have visited his blog often as well. I think he has the courage to come up with the blog posts and find solutions, which are all great ways to overcome ones own stuttering problems. The person who faces all the things that go with it, would truly know how and what they undergo. We can just about sit and imagine about things, and I marvel at HIten for overcoming a great deal here. I liked what and how both of you worked and thanks a great deal for sharing it with all of us as well :)
Thanks Harleena, I asked Hiten for a guest post when he gets the time to do it. Hiten is very skilled at what he does but I think he needs to get more exposure on the web so that people can find him and get the help that they need.
Justin Mazza Thanks Justin! I really enjoyed working with you during our coaching session.
Hi Harleena,
Great to hear from you! And I love your blog!!
I appreciate your comment and what you wrote about stuttering. Stuttering sure can be a challenge to live with. But I passionately believe that a person who is struggling with their stuttering needn't get depressed or get down. They can do a number of things to increase their self-confidence and have a good quality of life, just like any 'fluent' person.
Thanks for commenting, and once again, it's great to hear from you Harleena.
Hi Justin,
NLP offers many ways of changing beliefs and this seems to be a one I did not hear about yet. Affirmations work can be very efficient and in a context of changing beliefs very powerful, so it sounds very interesting to do.
It is good to write your beliefs down as you have done right now with this post. After you have have changed your belief, you can forgot the old one very fast. I remember doing a similar change belief session with somebody and a half year later he was completely forgotten about his old belief. Only the paper with the old belief written on it, did remind him about the old belief.
marc van der Linden Hi Marc, We live according to our beliefs, even our limiting ones. It is best to hire a professional like Hiten to assist one with removing the belief or if you can do it yourself that is fine too.
marc van der Linden
Hi Marc,
The belief change techniques I used with Justin are more specifically from an area called Neuro-Semantics, which is an extension of the core NLP model. You can find out more here: http://www.neurosemantics.com
What Justin did was to access powerful resource states he already had within him, and apply them to the unhelpful state (i.e the unhelpful belief). When you apply powerful resource states to unhelpful ones, the powerful states usually end up governing and taking over the unhelpful ones. This creates significant opportunity for change to occur.
Thanks for commenting Marc. It's really cool to connect with you.
Hi Justin,
I am so impressed with the candor of your post. Thank you for sharing so openly with us.
You are addressing such an important issue. I have certainly spent years struggling to overcome the feelings/behaviors that you describe and some days the dragon still wins.
I am careful to have people in my life today that are willing to take responsibility for their part in things. I once read a book title that reminds me to stay clear of victims (blamers) "My Holding You Up is Weighing me Down".
Be Well, dawn
Thanks Dawn, Individually we are responsible for ourselves and our reactions and so on. I have enough to deal with in myself and I don't have the energy to spend on trying to make them feel better about themselves. I think we all encounter "victim" types and it's best to steer clear of them.
Hi Dawn,
Getting too involved with what other people are feeling and blaming ourselves is a problem that many of us face. By the sounds of it, you have made great progress, so well done! Sure, some days the dragon still wins. It's like that for all of us. But keep slaying the dragon and pretty soon it will stop raising its naughty head!
It's excellent that you have people in your life who are willing to take responsibility for their part. This sounds like a balanced atmosphere to be in.
I really appreciate your comment, so thank you. Nice to connect with you too.
That was an intense Power Hour, justin mazza Good stuff! I especially liked the new belief, “People are responsible for the way they feel and react and not me.” Many people don't truly understand that they are in total control of what they allow to get under their skin. Instead, they are quick to blame... or shift the blame onto others for their own insecurities. I had an incident with a family member, it's been a year now; where I was told that I didn't know how to talk to people. What she didn't include or fail to think about is what she said that could have potentially hurt mine as well. After apologizing for my part, I never received any type of an apology from her; instead she continued to share with others that I said things that I didn't say, and did things that I didn't do. I learned two lessons from the incident. 1) I am in total control of how I allow other's to make me feel. 2) When people want to play the victim, I have the choice if I want to play along or not. After a second apology, she continued with her shanaigans; I was able to forgive myself first and then able to forgive her. But, I took back the power that was held over me. Since I don't know how to "talk to people" I simply don't have to talk to those that think I don't. I'm not mad, angry, or anything like that. I simply know that people are definitely responsible for the way they feel and react not me. I miss her and I love her... but I love me SO much more.
KingskiddD1 Awesome Deeone. I know, I had so many people in my life like that too. I had to learn to "love them from a distance."
Taking on the responsibility of how others react to me was too much too handle. People that know me know my heart and if I say something that offended them they usually know that I did not have any kind of malicious intent. It was more just my attempt to express my feelings/getting things off of my chest.
It's the drama queens who want to keep picking at things and make them worse instead of just letting it go. Thanks for sharing your story here Deeone. :)
"...but I love me SO much more." You are the only person that you are responsible for loving, everyone else is a choice. Awesome stuff my friend!
Justin Mazza "You are the only person that you are responsible for loving, everyone else is a choice." Indeed, my friend... In-deed!! Thanks for sharing this awesome post and for the introduction to Hiten, Justin! Rock on, my friend! :)
KingskiddD1
Hi Deeone,
I loved your comment!
It really is great being able to take your power back isn't it? I used to always blame all my insecurities on other people! I was doing it in such a way, where I was never taking responsibility for the way I was feeling. Even more, I thought I was responsible for whether other people would be happy or not!
These days I like to remind myself that "I'm responsible for the way I feel", I'm responsible for the way I think", "I'm responsible for my behaviours", and "I'm responsible for my emotions".
If ever I find myself feeling down within myself or begin to get a hint that I may be depending how I feel on another person, I remind myself, that (1) I don't have to feel anything! And (2) I'm not responsible for the way other people feel. I have a duty to be responsible to those I interact with, sure. But no way am I responsible for the way they feel.
Thanks for your contribution and it's good to meet you!
Hiten Vyas Hi Hiten,
Thanks, my friend. It certainly can be mind boggling when it happens for the first time; especially with people you love and care about. However, they're usually the main ones that inflict that kind of pain on us. I guess it's that they feel they are entitled to do so, because we're so close to them. And for all we know someone did the same thing to them. But like you said, Once we become responsible and accountability for our own actions, we realize that those practices is not how we want to conduct business as usual in our lives. It took me an entire year to take my power back, but oh yeah man... "great" only covers a little of what I've felt in doing so. Liberating, Free, Happy, Invigorating... the list can go on and on! Loving what you're offering, my friend. This is exactly the kind of stuff that I think the world needs. A healing! It's a pleasure to meet you as well, my friend. I know if Justin speaks highly of you... Then YOU ARE THE MAN!! ;) Cheers!
KingskiddD1 Hi Deeone,
You're too kind my friend! Thank you.
I totally understand what you mean about those who are closest to us and the pain that can be caused, if we believe we are responsible for how they feel.
At times, when we want to make serious changes in our lives those closest to us, might not approve because they don't want us to change. This is a time when they could potentially begin to emote all kinds of emotions based upon resistance. At this point, it's worthwhile remembering those closest to us are responsible for their emotions, not us, yet to do so compassionately, as they may not have realised themselves that they are responsible for their feelings!
Thanks for your comment Deeone. And seriously, YOU ARE THE MAN! :-)
Onibalusi Bamidele owner of younprepro is fun of something. He doesn't talk on behalf of people. He will simply tell you that people are responsible for themselves. That is a simple steps to avoid pains from those that are close to us
Hi Odesanya,
Thanks for your comment! I've just seen Onibalusi's website and it looks really good.
Thanks for the reference and it's a pleasure to link with you.
Hiten VyasKingskiddD1 Deeone has to be one of the most thoughtful and considerate bloggers that I have met since I've been online this past year. Deeone you rock!
Justin MazzaKingskiddD1 Justin, I can totally understand what you mean. It's just so clear how both compassionate and passionate Deeone is.
Hiten VyasJustin Mazza Thanks for the vote of confidence and encouragement, fellas. It means a lot, really! :) You've both totally ended this week for me with a BANG!!! :) Stay awesome and motivated! Have a fantastic weekend, as well. :)
Conversation from Twitter
marcus_baker Thanks Marcus! Hope you're having a good weekend.
harleenas mazzastick Thanks a lot Harleena!
stutteringhub - Most welcome Hiten :)
